There’s several common aspects of life I’ve honestly had to give up, occasionally in extremes, a few of which I still largely keep out. A close friend to me that I consider a literal lotus blossom (because of how they grew into pop culture) essentially asked what I was willing to give up to succeed as an artist.
Not what I would do to succeed, but what I would give up.
My answer: Everything. I would give up everything.
This vague “everything” ranges from sweeping changes to my social and personal life down to substances and content consumed to entire aspects of my personality. These things removed aren’t all horrible,evil, things, but especially for my first year trying to improve, they were some of the most distracting constants in my life that I knew I needed to ditch or change to try to make it.
Alcohol: I drank and partied a ton in uni, less than some, but I was regularly pushed to the limits of my own stupidity. I removed that from my life entirely for about a year, and since then I keep such things very moderate — and only unleashing comrade-level stupidity on very special occasions.
Lady friends: My longest stretch without a girlfriend in that uni era was about 4 weeks, I was in love with the idea of serial monogamy, and for a very long time I was a total sap. I still had and have relationships since I left, but of late they are either very distant and not something that eats into my time working, or very surface level and thus devoid of any of the emotional displacement of energy that makes most people go insane and want to claw their faces off just thinking about their significant other. Easy, breezy, brief.
Non-lady friends: In UoN, though they were ever-changing, I was constantly squad deep of 10–20 lunatics who did everything together. This is a fantastic, beautiful, crazy, dramatic, and worthwhile experience, but not one that a) allows you to get much done, or b) offers stability or independence. When I left, I cut it down to a core few, and since then, like most people do far younger than I did, It clicked that the quality few always trump quantity.
Money: For much of my life, when I made money, I spent it. I never listened to my mom about saving it little by little, so when I left school, I decided she might be on to something, and spent my first year stingy as can be. Pinching the hell out of every shilling. It sucked. It felt embarrassing, especially since I was working at Ogilvy as a junior designer that first year, and only making like 2K an illustration for what I really loved. But it paid off, even now I invest back into myself and the business, it’s going quite well, and I just don’t ever have to think about money anymore. If I hadn’t been so extreme in my thriftiness, there are many opportunities, huge ones, that I would have missed later on that are really building my career right now.
Wasting my life away on the web: I was glued to the Internet long before twitter and the rest existed, I wasted away my days on forums, blogs, writing fan fiction (seriously), and frequenting gaming websites, never getting anything done or learning anything new, just consuming content that never helped me at much of anything. So that first year out of school, I spent all of that time learning how social media worked and the pathways that information flowed through Internet instead of digesting cat picture after cat picture. I’ve eased up substantially since then, but I still keep things at a minimum, and the time spent is mostly to learn or share, not endlessly scroll through nothingness — I don’t do boredom.
Dial down the idiot just a notch: I have always been told that I’m very stubborn and set in my ways, thinking I have the answers and that the answers were set in stone. Stubborn makes it sound endearing so I long agreed with it. It’s a word many like to use, but if I’m being honest, being stubborn mostly just feels like being narrow-mindedness and egotistical. Though perhaps the least tangible, the biggest thing I’ve (attempted) to give up and continue to attempt to, is an ego. I was really riding high when I left UoN to work my first job. Despite all of the distractions mentioned, compared to high school me, I had turned my life around and thought I was on top of the world, ready to tackle its obstacles.
I think ego is very perceptual. Depending on who you ask, it varies in size, but I’ve encountered many who view it as a giant triceratops of one, and I think either is valid, though that girl (I mentioned earlier) definitely gets my favorism for obvious reasons. I wouldn’t post my artwork and my thoughts if I didn’t at least have some confidence in them, (the crippling fear and self-loathing is less seen by people), but what changed a couple years ago was simply checking myself (before the wrecking of said self). What I mean by that is, I believe in being true to who you are — if you’re confident, be confident — don’t fake your way through being humble just because you’ll get less shit for it. It’s easy to be something that’s never disagreeable. But at the same time, your confidence must always come with rules, fine print, and a very unflattering mirror. Know who you are, what you’re good at, and what you’ve done, but never make it more than it is. Never put yourself above anything or outside the crossfire of criticism. For me, I needed very badly to just let go and understand that my knowledge is rewritten and expanded on a daily basis, my work has a million miles to grow, my viewpoints on the world will only extend as far as I’ve dared to look, and that a balance does exist out there where I can care passionately about what I do, feel empowered by sharing it, and not do so while being a gigantic ‘lolo’ in the process. It’s not the search for false humility, but rather just understanding my place, my real place, knowing that it’s not that high, and communicating at least a vague awareness of it while I try to grow. Even writing this out makes me feel like a breakfast food/insult combo — this is very much so a work in progress for me.
In conclusion:
Sacrificing/giving up the things in life that are often viewed as just common place things or everyday indulgences, can actually give you a little momentum — it can bring clarity to what you’re doing. I don’t think you need to become a saint, it’s not some religiously-induced choice, it’s a personal one solely made to eliminate distractions when you have a goal in mind that demands your full attention. Since I was asked this question by a certain professor before I stubbornly left, it’s now the same question I throw back at everyone who ever asks me what to do to have some sort of success as an artist. Obviously: time, effort, passion, practice, knowledge. End of list.
But what are you willing to give up?
